Be nice to everyone and God will be kind to you. Be good at heart and you will have a good life. I am tired of all these crappy lessons. I always had a doubt that, i being good to you will only help you have a good life and not me. Today as i sat alone in the coffee house with 2 coffee cups, my heart is totally convinced that being good does not guarantee me good life, in fact it doesn't even guarantee me life.
It was few months back when i sitting here, same seat, waiting for her. My eyes use stare at the door expecting it to open and finally the door opened and she rushed in, she was a it late that day but who cares! We never had any rules to be on time, no rules on who's wrong, perhaps that's friendship. I heard about Sanjana Tiwari from a friend and right from the day i heard her name and all those coffee chats with her has been a pleasure.Sanjana , No , she was not just another girl. She was different and i meant it, seriously.At least she was not like a few of my boring friends.Sometimes i feel so happy to be away from them and meet her. Sanjana was someone for whom you would like to miss out those stressful office meetings, calls, that IT world where i see no honesty and make sure you meet her, even if it was for a 5 minutes. She was a stress buster for a person like me who sleeps, drinks and eats IT.She is someone with whom you would like to share all your jokes cause only her simple honest smile makes you realize their worth.
She was better than any of you can imagine, she had a very good heart. Its been long when i met such people, who give others more priority than themselves. Sometimes i use to wonder,whether she actually belongs to this world, i feel the world never deserved her. But she was a part of it. At times i use to tell her about some tough facts of life and how the world is so mean. But she always use to stop me and argue on it. The problem with her was that she use to think that everyone is like her with a clean heart. I being a big critic (a typical virgo), whenever told her to be careful from some people around, she use to get angry and quarrel with me. I never argued much with her on this, thinking that she was yet to come across the real world and when she finds it, she will learn herself but i was never short on suggestions.
We did spend many days at the Coffee house and all were memorable, talking to her was always fun. While i use to patiently listen to her never ending exam worries and she use to give me Tips on blogging, personal life etc...
Oh Preetam, you don't know how to end, the end has to be good only then it will have an impact on the readers.
Okay, stop shouting. A blogger is getting suggestions from a girl who is so worried about writing her exams. Hey it seems you don't know how to cheat. Do you want some tips ?
No, not now. in case i need them i will ask you 5-6 days before the exams.
Sanjana was a mix of everything.She was highly impatient at times, may be out of excitement but when really required she turns out be most patient.The best thing about her has been that she use to carry herself. I don't know , whether she learned it or she was unknown about it. She is highly immatured at times and you feel she is a fool but in the very next second , she will act smart and fool you. There were times when i used to enjoy some music in the coffee house,while she used to write something in her diary, sounds boring , doesn't it?? At times she use to forget her diary the coffee house boy use to return her next time. Coffee with her was better than Coffee with Gay Karan anyday. Having those never ending discussions with her are more memorable.
According to her, all elders must be respected blindly, while according to me people who deserve it, whether younger or elders should only be respected. They cant get any credit, just cause they were born before me. We had many differences, perhaps this was something which stretched out debates, discussions or whatever you call it for long.
Sanjana was a pure vegetarian, not only in what she eats , but also what she speaks and i being diagonally opposite to her, controlled all those non-veg jokes for which i might be famous for. It was fun pulling her leg but at times she would kick back hard.
How Sad! you call yourself a topper and you seem to be so worried about your exams, Shame on you!
How Sad! What a friend! instead of helping me, you are demotivating me.
OK, OK is it possible than i give Ur exams ?
I don't know, but NO
I don't wanna fail.
She was good at some silly jokes, which might not even bother you but she would laugh out quite loud at them, as if her jokes were the best.
The last day i met her , she was quite happy. She was going to mumbai the next day. Their was some worry about he upcoming exams as usual, but she was also excited about her mumbai trip.
Hey, Should i get something for you ?
Yes, if you insist so much. you can.
Huh?? But when did i insist?? Anyways what should i get?
whatever you like.
Ok.I just hope, i return and study harder, i wish to top again.
Oh, don't worry, good things are bound to happen with good people.
Thats like a good friend.
That day she left for mumbai for a week. I still use to visit the coffee house waiting for the week to get over , eagerly waiting what will she get for me. But i never knew this wait will be forever. 2 days later i came to know from her friend, that she was stuck in the mumbai terror attacks and she is no more. I was shocked badly and couldn't believe it at all. I mean , i just met her the other day. This news literally shattered me and i lost myself for some time. I didn't even had the courage to visit her house. I was deeply hurt and even till today i am finding it difficult to come out of it.
After a week i did visit the coffee house again, the coffee house boy returned me her diary which she forgot on the last day.I thought of reading it and i directly went to the last page of it.
I am so excited today, the world is so good and God is so kind. Finally i am going to mumbai. I know, i know, i should actually be stydying for my exams but i feel, once i come back i will cover it. I have decided to get some gifts for a few people, a bit confused about what should i get for this fool sitting in front of me. Well, i will search. i just hope i have a great trip and then some good exams.
These words from her made me totally numb. There was a day when she use to sit right across and talk about the beauty of life and i use to wonder, Will her goodness, kindness for the unknown world ever end ? I always felt the word Sanjana was full of life but never thought that her life will be short. I always thought that she will discover life in her own way but never thought that she will not even get a chance. I always thought that someday she will come to me and complain about the world but the moment she realized it, she lost her life.
Its been a month now and i have been regular to the coffee house, perhaps i am still expecting her. At times i still look at the door and expect it to suddenly open, i still order 2 cups of coffee thinking that she might return and ask me for those exam cheating tips. I know her absence has affected me mentally, but at times i still feel her presence and at times i keep expecting. Sometimes i feel , she might be stuck somewhere trying to come back, She might be stuck somewhere all alone wondering how will she prepare for her next exam, She might be somewhere confused about what gift she will get for me.There are so many people who keep harming others but why did God call someone who is harmless, someone who only knows good, someone who cant even think bad,. If deeds were to decide her future then she deserved to live forever. Unfortunately thats not the case.
Today its been a month and with time i have lost all hopes. I wonder, how can God do this? May be he was short on angels or may be even he has given up when it comes to this world. I just hope and pray she is happy somewhere up and and having a sip of coffee as i write. She must be waiting eagerly to see how i end this post. She will always be missed.
I prayed to God in deep pain,
As i don't know what should be tried
In reply i just saw a few drops of rain,
Indicating that even the God has Cried.
The year is about to end and its been a good one for me. I am happy not only for this year but also for one more fiction which i just completed and i hope you found it worth reading. Happy new year!!